I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
