Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
