There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
