Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
