I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
