Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize