Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Pappa wants mamma naked
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
