were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
