i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
The beer is more important than you right now.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
