Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
oh god the rape fog is back!
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
