Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i dont even know how to be here
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
