Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize