Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
