My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
