@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
