just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize