i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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