Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
My bed smells like the plague
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
