Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
