last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
