so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
jump out the window naked night went bad
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