During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
