So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
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