Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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