nut hugger
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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