This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Drake has all the answers
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
