i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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