I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
