I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
