Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
