my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
