Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
