The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize