Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
