I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize