Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
