so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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