i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Why can't burritos get me drunk
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize