Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
