HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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