o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
