Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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