he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
