Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Randomize