is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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