You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
