If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
