Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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