If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
