It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
