she woke up with a sticky ear
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize