You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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