no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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