ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
