He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
