How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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