she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
