You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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