What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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