thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
