Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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