And the cops told us we were all naked.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
