Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Randomize
