all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You had me at "let me see your balls"
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I am available for nakedness
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
