I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
