you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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