Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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