The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Randomize
