im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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