You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
