Just mADE A PArabola og urine
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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