id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
