His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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