He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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