Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
