duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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