he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
