I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
