just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
