He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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