You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
We need to rekindle our bromance
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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