Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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